i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize