how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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