True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
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doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
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I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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