i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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