I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize