hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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