I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
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