he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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