my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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