well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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