Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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