You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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