its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize