I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I think your dad took our porno
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize