Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
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He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
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this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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