there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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