A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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