It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
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It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
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we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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