The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize