I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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