genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Never underestimate the power of titties
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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