No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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