I think I won the penis lottery.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize