if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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