Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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