id be glad to
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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