If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
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Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
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I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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