This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
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I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
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He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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