I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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