No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
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my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
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I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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