I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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