Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
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Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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