Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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