I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
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