We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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