i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize