so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize