i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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