i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Randomize