Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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