I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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