he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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