Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize