That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
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I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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