boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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