WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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