I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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