I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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