ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize