I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
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The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
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Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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